OMG I must be crazy!

I usually weigh myself everyday but I only record my weight once a week and that is on fridays. I thought I would challenge myself this week and I have not stepped on the scale once since last friday. That being said, I have stepped on the scale at the gym but the two scales are different and I don't honestly know the difference. Needless to say, I'm quite anxious about tomorrow. Honestly, for the last week my diet has been pretty bad and I got a new heartrate monitor that calculates my calories burned at a much lower value than my previous one. So if I had to guess. I will probably be seeing a .5-1 lb gain this week. If that happens I will give myself a swift kick in the ass for the next week to make sure I get over that. Wish me luck. I will be behaving myself today and be thinking positive thoughts for tomorrow's weigh in.

Oh my emotional roller coaster...

Losing weight is tough, really tough! I cannot get over the constant insanity inducing emotional up and downs. One minute you are dancing out of the changeroom of a store bouncing off the walls cause you fit into a pair of pants and the next minute you are crushed by the numbers on the scale. The pounds are dropping Sloooooowly! The inches are dropping slowly. I'm kind of an instant gratification sort of person and it's just not happening. Christmas has been tough. I definetly ate more than I should have and now I feel the need to work it all off but I think I am doing too much and yet I cannot stop myself. I need to see the number on the scale go down. Plus it's my monthly weigh in and measure in a few days and I can't have that go badly.

The other cause of my emotional highs and lows are the reactions that I get from different people reguarding my weight loss. Some straight up ask me "why?" or "what's with the exercise kick you are on?" Some want to know the magic "trick" that is making it happen and when they hear the truth they scowl and say they couldn't do that. Many make comments like "How low do you want to go?" Honestly, I have no idea. My current goal is to achieve a BMI of less than 30. Then it's time to re-evaluate. Some days I just take these comments the wrong way. I think some people don't mean anything negatively, it's just my mind taking the comments wrong and others, are probably envious that I have been able to do this and that so far I am successful at it. But...that being said, I can honestly say that I am ALWAYS thrilled when I guy notices my hard work and weight loss. You know it's showing when they say something. It always brings a smile to my face and makes me feel good.

Today was an ok day. My weight was down on the scale and that always helps to brighten up the start of my day. I am very tempted to have Gerben hide the scale for a few days and see how I do. Its a scary thought as I do weigh myself every morning and every night. The jury is still out as to whether or not I am willing to give it up for a while.

I never thought I would...

I never thought I would get to the size I was and I never thought I could get to the size I am now after being where I was. Don't get me wrong, I still have a very, very long way to go but the process has begun. I officially started this journey of weightloss back in August of 2011. I was discusted at seeing my weight tip the scales at 177lbs but I was even more discusted at myself for the way I looked and how hard it was for me to complete a simple race at my end of season rowing regatta. I'm really not sure what the exact trigger was but something threw me over the edge and at that point this whole journey began.

If I remember correctly it started with a personal challenge. I wanted to get in better shape. I wanted to build some cardio stamina. I wanted to be fit. Losing weight, well that's just a by product. I never expected it to be such a motivator. I have never really been the type of person to watch my diet and eat healthy. I am more likely to exercise. I like to be moving. So sitting in my basement is a treadmill. It was collecting dust but calling my name. Not knowing where to start I decided to fall back on a couch to 5k app that I downloaded onto my iphone over a year ago and never used. The first day almost killed me! I didn't know how bad of shape I was in until I tried to do the 60 second running intervals followed by 90 seconds of walking. Holy Crap! My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest but I completed it and that was a start. That was the start. 5km became my pipe dream. The one thing I could strive to achieve a goal to aim for. That was the beginning.